A Guide To Custody And Childcare After A Divorce



Custody And Divorce

Divorce is quite likely to be one of the most difficult things you will experience in your life, and unfortunately along with the heartbreak you have lots of practical matters to consider too. Things like property, finances and the well-being of the children will all be on your mind, with the latter being one of the issues which worry people most about splitting up for good. However it doesn’t have to be stressful for the children, and if you go into proceedings with a good frame of mind you can all come to a resolution that works for everyone. Here are some of the things to consider when sorting out childcare after a divorce.

pexels-photo (10)

Decide If You’re Settling Custody Matters In Or Out Of Court

Depending on the kind of terms your marriage ended on, it may be possible to sort out child custody out of court. Providing you’re both on the same page and are happy to put your differences aside for the sake of the children, you might be able to come to an agreement which suits you both. Unfortunately, there will be cases where this isn’t possible, and so matters will have to be sorted out legally. Often these kinds of situations are complex, and so in a lot of divorces finding good family law solicitors are an essential part of the process.


Consider Family Mediation

If you are looking to settle things out of court, it’s still a good idea to attend some family mediation sessions. This is a voluntary and confidential process, which helps both partners to reach agreements about the practical matters of splitting up. It’s not marriage counselling and is not designed to give you advice on your relationship or help you to get back together.

It’s an impartial, neutral and safe setting in which you are able to work with a mediator and make joint decisions about the future. Mediation can help you work out your differences in regards to custody and help you come to an agreement without the expense of going to court.

Don’t Blame Yourself

No one goes into a marriage hoping for divorce however ,life does happen and it’s important not to blame yourself. Whether you grew apart or split up due to infidelity or other reasons, the fact remains that the relationship was no longer right. So choosing to leave it is a brave step and the right thing to do, don’t punish yourself for not ending up with the lifelong marriage you dreamed of. After a divorce, you get a chance to focus on yourself again, as well as make a great life for your children.


See The Positives

One of the main concerns, when you’re getting divorced, is the happiness and wellbeing of the children. There can be a stigma attached to divorce with the assumption that it’s not a good thing for children. However that’s just not true, and in many cases, it can actually be a positive thing.

It means there is no more conflict in your daily lives which can be a huge relief to children to have endured parents arguing for a long time. Even if you’ve never outright argued in front of them, the bad atmosphere caused by snide comments and passive-aggressive remarks can be picked up on causing a lot of tension and stress.

See the positives, with the negative atmosphere removed you’re free to get on with being the best parent you can possibly be.

4 Comments Write a comment

Writer And Coffee Addict Living The Blog Life


  • Laurie October 16, 2016

    I definitely think that staying together for the sake of the children isn’t the right thing. Hearing and witnessing fighting isn’t healthy, and you are the example they have of what a normal romantic relationship is – and that is what they are learning from. If you aren’t able to work your issues out in therapy or don’t want to try, then I would recommend to divorce. It would be better for the children to see more relaxed and happier parents in my opinion – I can speak from experience. Great information, thanks for sharing!

  • Rosy Anwood December 6, 2016

    Hey Buddy,

    Nice Post!
    It contains useful information. It true that divorce and custody are inter-related processes because when a couple gets divorced, they need to make the decision that with whom the child should go. If they have same decision then in such cases no custody cases are filed, but if they have conflicting opinion towards it, then arises the need to filing a child custody case.
    The factors you provided in the article are worth considering. But these situations harm the mental status of the child. I am thankful to you for sharing this article. But one thing that I want to say is that if such situation arises in your families; please make sure that your child is away from all this. Because it imprints a bad impression about his parents on his/her mind that is everlasting.

    Keep Posting and Sharing!
    Thank You! 🙂

  • Christina February 6, 2017

    Your comments about seeing the positives are nice. Your tip that readers avoid blaming themselves are also important.

    • Heidi February 6, 2017

      Thanks, I’ve been through an ugly divorce myself so I know how hard it is but important to make the transition as easy as possible for the kids

Leave a Reply

error: Content is protected !!
%d bloggers like this: