Married

Relationship Secrets Every Happily Married Person Knows

marriage relationships

Married

The Secrets To Being Happily Married

Previously I have written about what you need to have a lasting relationship and that is really just the tip of the iceberg. Marriage is a totally different animal altogether. If you don’t know what I mean you haven’t been married. Granted, everyone is different and the same things don’t always work in every relationship. I am not going to tell you what you have to do to be happily married. Instead, I am going to share a few things that have worked for me and other happily married people I know.

To say I have experience in this arena is putting it mildly. I have been married most of my life! The first time was for 13 years and let’s just say I call it my training marriage and my ex is referred to as Satan. All jokes aside I learned the most from that experience.

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I was barely divorced more than a year when I met my forever guy and it wasn’t easy for him! I came with a lot of extras which included three kids and an angry ex. At this point, I was pretty much learning how to stand on my own two feet. To say we have been through a lot that probably would have broken many couples is a complete truth. Not only did we not break, I can honestly say we are as happy as we were from day one.

Laugh And Laugh Some More

This may be the one ingredient every happily married person knows. You have to laugh a lot. We laugh all the time. We have private jokes only we know. Often Inappropriate for others ears honestly. Laughing makes life so much easier.

See Things Clearly

For a long time I put my husband on a pedestal, he became perfect in my eyes. This , became a problem because everyone makes mistakes and it was inevitable he would fall. See your partner clearly, not just who you think or want them to be. Embrace their flaws because if you love you love all of them, not just the pretty parts.

The greatest life lesson is accepting people for who they are. My husband and I couldn’t be more different. He is black, I am white. I am an Introvert, he is an Extrovert. I am crazy, he thinks he’s not. I could go on but you get the point. You learn to turn your differences into strengths and create a balance in your life and be happily married, you never had before.

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Stand By Me

There will be times when you are all each other has. We often say we are Pinky and the Brain, just the two of us against the world. That being said, standing by and for each other is the key. You are always a united front against the world. I liken it to siblings in the way you might find them so annoying and push them around but no one else can.

You never ever abandon their side especially in dealing with those outside the family unit. Those are things you do in private. More than that, you don’t let others do it either. Have each other’s back always.

 

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We Need The Words

When you have been married for a while there is a level of comfort and taking things for granted. “Of course I love you, I married you.” You should say :I love you”, every day! It isn’t because you don’t know. We just need the words. It is affection whether you realize it or not. We say it every day still several times a day, as a matter of fact, it’s become a contest as to who says it first.

All Living Things Must Grow

As living things, we are always growing and changing. You absolutely must be with someone who wants to change with you. Being content is a great thing but without personal growth, it can almost feel like being smothered

A little Space

You can’t be a couple if you haven’t learned how to be alone. Every person on this earth needs me time. Engage in also having needed space in your Marriage. I know there are times I just have to be by myself. Some take separate vacations even. We both have children from previous relationships so there have been times we have to divide and conquer and that’s ok.

The Little Things Are Just Little

Too often in life, we sweat the little things, especially in Marriage! Every little issue becomes a big issue until we realize how silly it is but at this point, it’s just too late and we are too angry. Don’t! Let the little things go, they really are not at all important or they would be big things and believe me, there will be plenty of those.

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These are just a few elements that keep my marriage happy.What makes a person happily married can vary but there are some basic truths What keeps your Marriage happy?

 

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12 Comments Write a comment

Writer And Coffee Addict Living The Blog Life

12 Comments

  • Lori November 29, 2016

    Great information and something everyone should read no matter how long you’ve been married.

    • Heidi November 29, 2016

      Thanks so much! So true and thanks for reading

  • Klaudia November 29, 2016

    Not much more to say than ‘just bootiful’ 😊 what a lovely post !!!
    Oh wait … got one thing to say … your secrets work as fine without being married ! I am the perfect example 💏 it’s working for 36 years for us now. Respect and giving each other space & trust is essential , having the same or similar sense of humor and a good laugh together is a great bonus !
    Klaudia recently posted…Family Home Plans – How To Design A Perfect Home When Expecting A BabyMy Profile

    • Heidi November 29, 2016

      I hate to tell you but you are married! Thanks for the support

  • Susan November 29, 2016

    Laughing, growing together, talking …all of it…you hit the nail on the head! A phrase that has remained withe me from a book we read years ago is, “give your spouse the benefit of the doubt.” They will hurt, anger, or annoy you sometimes. Give them the benefit of the doubt that they didn’t intend to. This attitude change has made all the difference in our marriage.
    Susan recently posted…Miss Cay’s Red Velvet CakeMy Profile

    • Heidi November 29, 2016

      That is so true Susan and perhaps takes maturity, too many expect goin into it that its just magic but it is alot of work.

  • Aish Das-Padihari November 30, 2016

    Spot on. For us, the challenge was communication. When I over communicated, he under did it and that was creating some major fights. But over 16 years, we learned to like each others words and make peace with each others silence.
    Aish Das-Padihari recently posted…Cardamom Saffron Tea CookiesMy Profile

    • Heidi November 30, 2016

      Men aren’t great at communication, it forces us women to get creative with making it happen.

  • Tania Potter - Soul Sense Coaching December 2, 2016

    Love this, Heidi! Your marriage sounds wonderful, thank you for sharing your experience.

    • Heidi December 2, 2016

      Thanks for reading Tania,

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