3 questions to ask yourself before your next relationship

Dating Tips: 3 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Your Next Relationship

dating relationships

3 questions to ask yourself before your next relationshipDating Tips: Important Questions To Ask Yourself

 

We all want to be loved and be in a romantic relationship. It is very easy to get caught up in the wanting it without examining ourselves to determine if we are ready. Dating can be fun but it can also be so frustrating and why I offer these dating tips. Are you always meeting the wrong person? This is something I hear often, “I only attract the weirdos and jerks”. Believe it or not, we are partly to blame for this. You have to ask yourself what you’re putting out there and other questions.

What Do You Bring To The Table?

My husband and I were discussing possible dating tips and I asked him what he thought my next topic should be. He had dated for many more years than I so he is my go-to expert for the man’s point of view. He said simply, “What do you bring to the table?”

We women can be real picky about the things we require in a man, I know I was. He had to be 5 feet 10, and that was just for starters I had an entire list. He went on to explain he had encountered this in a lot of women. So when you are thinking about what you want in a man you must also ask yourself if you also meet these requirements.

Love & Dating: 3 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Your Next Relationship

Before you go thinking I am being cruel or you should lower your standards, go over your list and make another for yourself and what you have to offer. When we were dating I really wanted him to make a commitment and at the time I took his reluctance as rejection but my life was a mess. I came to realize that if I committed to him broken and needing too much that would be the thread in our relationship.

So we waited another 6 months until I had it all together and a path. I moved in with him a confident, capable woman able to take care of my own business.

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Is Something Missing?

This may be the most important question to ponder. Is there something missing in your life that you think a love partner could fill? Let me tell you how dangerous this can be. I believe a large part of why I got married the first time I was looking to fill what was missing within. I had had a rocky relationship with my father so my concept of the man-woman variable was skewed and I just knew the concept of happily ever after would fix everything. IT DIDN’T

Love & Dating: 3 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Your Next Relationship

Love & Dating: 3 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Your Next Relationship

Romantic love cannot fix you! Not long after I realized that all of the loneliness and insecurities were still there. A loving relationship enhances your life. If you have unresolved issues or an unhealthy need to love you have to find it in yourself first. It is so essential to have a life and your own interests, friends before adding a partner to the mix.

It’s never a bad time for self-examination and asking you why you want a relationship. It is unwise to ever make someone else your entire life. Keeping our own identity only adds to the magic. Knowing your own mind keeps you from making mistakes and hurting others in the process.

Where Are You Meeting?

This may seem a strange question but if you have been unsuccessful in the dating world you need to consider where you are meeting prospective partners. Your answer may be online dating as so many others are. It is great on the one hand to have so many people at the tap of a finger. That being said people aren’t always truthful and it can be so much hit or miss involved. A girlfriend of mine told me for every 5 men she meets online there can be as little as one worth dating.

We need to stop approaching dating with a fast food mentality. Especially with online dating, you need to take your time and get to know a person first. I admit I did meet my husband online and that was after many disasters. We talked on the phone for 3 months before we met in person.

dating tips

Bars and clubs are also not advisable. If there is liquor involved good sense flies out the window. I am sure you’ve heard the saying “Everybody looks good after 2 am.” Try meeting people where they are at their best. Whether it is a sporting event or a class you take for fun, meeting people in an environment where you are doing something you like is a great start to finding common ground.

These are but a few things to consider if your dating life isn’t going well. I hope you will take these dating tips all in and I wish you love and happiness!

 

 

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9 Comments

  • Roy Miller January 30, 2017

    Speaking as a guy, how many women have had a list of requirements for a partner and they were able to get a guy with everyone of those requirements? My guess would be none. Dating is a get to know process. Sometimes you know right away, sometimes it takes a while, and sometimes it just does not work out.
    Roy Miller recently posted…Vіdео Mаrkеtіng – Is It Useful For My Business?My Profile

    • Heidi January 30, 2017

      I agree and what ends up happening is they don’t get a guy, we often set our expectations a wee bit unreasonable.

  • Susan | The Sparrow's Home January 30, 2017

    I’ve been thinking on this a lot lately, as my eldest has started dating (talk about weird and stressful!!). Your tips are things that have really been on my mind. I see all kinds of lists circulating on Facebook and Pinterest like, “5 things to look for in your future husband” and “Don’t date a guy unless he…” –stuff like that. It’s made me think that, while I agree completely that we should have standards for whom we will date, we also need to focus on ourselves and what kind of partner WE will be. And I see so many young people running around trying to find someone to ‘complete them.’ Oh to be able to speak some wisdom into their hearts.
    Susan | The Sparrow’s Home recently posted…God’s Truth Conquers Your Parenting FearsMy Profile

    • Heidi January 31, 2017

      Oh the follies of youth! You are so right and I hear you my daughter is 26 and it was tough for me to even accept she was grown. It took me personally a long time to figure all that out. Thanks for reading

  • Ria Shah January 30, 2017

    I loved this! I never really thought about it like that. But you’re absolutely right. Out of our list on what we are looking for in a partner, we should see if we ourselves meet the criteria. As someone who has always online dated you make a good point when you mention that when online dating, it’s important to take our time and truly get to know the person.
    Ria Shah recently posted…Monthly Life Lessons: January 2017My Profile

    • Heidi January 31, 2017

      Often we focus too much on what we want instead of what we need, thanks for reading

  • Chrissy January 31, 2017

    “Romantic love can’t fix you.”

    This part caught my eye immediately. My very first relationship turned out to be disastrous because of this. For a while, I thought that being in love with someone else can fix me, and I’d become a better person while having my happily ever after. But I learned it the hard way.

    I’m so glad that you’re sharing this because it’s so important to realize that you don’t need another person to make your life fulfilled- it all begins with you.
    Chrissy recently posted…The 2017 Trend Report: Goodbye Skinny Jeans!My Profile

    • Heidi January 31, 2017

      Exactly, I have seen this especially with women because of the fairytales we are conditioned to believe. Thanks for reading

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