Should You Get Married? (Here Are A Few Ways To Tell)relationships
The Pros And Cons Of Marriage
Marriage is seen as a big stage in our lives. There’s an expectation that all women should get married at some point. As stupid as this expectation is, there are plenty of benefits to getting married. But, there are also lots of negatives.
So, I’ve come up with the pros & cons of marriage. Give them a read, and it will help you decide if marriage is right for you:
How To Know If Getting Married Is For You
For many people, marriage is a great thing. It’s something many couples dream of, and can’t wait to tie the knot. Here are some of the main benefits of getting married:
Strengthens Your Relationship
One pro of getting married is that it shows ultimate commitment to your partner. No matter how long you’ve been together, there may still be doubts about commitment. Mainly because you’ve been together for years and haven’t got married. By tying the knot, you show the ultimate level of commitment to one another. In turn, this can strengthen your bond as a couple.
You know that you’re both so in love that you want to spend the rest of your lives together. It brings you closer together and can make your relationship even better than before. There are many cases where a relationship is on the ropes and marriage saves it.
These days, gender roles aren’t what they used to be. As women, we’re no longer forced to stay at home and be a housewife. We work hard, and can be the main breadwinner in our relationship too. As a result, you have a married couple with two sources of income. Dual income can be a huge financial benefit to marriage. When you’re not married, you have two separate sources of income.
There my money and your money, so to speak. When you’re married, it all becomes our money. This puts you in a better position to start building a big fortune. You have more money to look for a nice house. You can afford more things, and live a more comfortable life together. An understated benefit of marriage is that, in the long run, you can be more financially stable.
Better And Safer Sex Life
For many, a benefit of marriage is that it leads to a better sex life. When you commit to one another in this way, it opens the door to so many things. You get to explore each other’s sexual desires in ways you’ve never done before. Plus, a lot of religious people wait until they’re married to have sex. So, this commitment can bring sex into a relationship, and bring you even closer together. As such, this opens the door for you to finally have children and start a family too. Also, married life leads to a much safer sex life too. You have one sexual partner and the risks of getting an STI are very low. If you’re both clean, you can have safe sex without worrying about where the other person has been.
There’s Always A Shoulder To Cry On
Marriage can mean a lot of things to different people. One of the biggest benefits is that you’ll always have someone there for you. You husband (or wife) will have a shoulder for you to cry on when times are tough.
They make a commitment to helping you, as you do to helping them. This can help you both deal with stress a lot better. Instead of lying awake at night staring at the ceiling, you’ve got someone with you. They won’t go anywhere and can help you with your troubles. It’s a very comforting thought.
As well as the delightful pros, there are a few cons to getting married too. Some of which are a bit more serious than others. Without further ado, here are the cons:
High Divorce Rates
Getting married doesn’t guarantee you’ll get divorced. Likewise, there’s no guarantee you’ll be together forever. Ideally, you’ll pick the right partner and divorce won’t be an issue for you. However, there are some shockingly high divorce statistics in this day and age. One in three marriages ends in it, that’s a fact. The problem with divorce is that it can be so complicated. When you’re not married, and things start going downhill, you break up. It’s simple, you collect your things, move out, and everything is over.
When you’re married, you need a divorce. This means you have to go through a big legal process. Assets need to be split, custody of any children has to be agreed on. I’ve known people whose divorce took nearly three years to complete. Can you imagine how much that cost? Well, I’ll tell you, it cost thousands of dollars. People recommend filing for divorce with the help of a lawyer, as it can speed things along. But, the bottom line is, divorce isn’t fun, and it’s a risk when you get married.
Another con of getting married is that you fall victim to increased expectations. You feel extra pressure to conform to societal norms when you’re married. You’ve finally taken the plunge and tied the knot. Now, everyone is expecting you to have your first child, followed by a few more. You’ll constantly get asked by family members when the first child is on its way. It’s almost like you’ve agreed to live your life a certain way when you get married. A lot of couples struggle when they get married. Once the honeymoon period is over, the expectations set in. They think they have to act how married couples are supposed to act.
Their relationships become different to how it was before, and that’s an issue. You don’t get these expectations when you’re not married. Sure, people might ask when you’re getting married. However, when they realize it’s off the table, and you’re happy being a committed couple without marriage, they stop asking. You’re free to live your relationship however you want.
It’s no secret that marriage can be very expensive. The wedding itself will cost thousands and thousands of dollars. Then, there’s the honeymoon, so, that’s another thousand or so added on.
When you get married, you’re expected to move into a nice family home together too. So, add hundreds of thousands of dollars onto the marriage expenses list there. Of course, I already mentioned a big financial benefit of getting married earlier on.
The problem is, these big expenses all come at the start of your marriage. They set you back early on and could put you in debt. Sure, you can save money by having a small wedding and not going on a honeymoon. But, we end up going back to the point above. People expect you to do certain things and follow certain trends. You’ll have pressure from all your friends and family to put on a big wedding and go on a fancy honeymoon. If you don’t, you’re labeled as weird.
You’re Tied Down For Life
When getting married, you’re supposed to stay with that person for life. This thought can really scare a few people. As I mentioned earlier, one in three marriages ends in divorce. And, this is probably why a lot of them happen. People get married when they’re too young, and are tied down to life. They’re expected to stay committed to the same person until they die. For many, this concept is enough to put them off marriage completely. Marriage can feel like you’re trapped for the rest of your life. If you’re single, you’re free to do whatever you please and explore life in different ways. Some people prefer this thought to marriage, so, it’s a no-go for them. Unfortunately, it can take marriage to make people realize this! Hence the high divorce rates as they quickly get out.
Is Marriage Right For You?
So, having seen the pros and cons, is marriage right for you? Clearly, I can’t give you the right answer here. This is something you need to figure out for yourself. But, I will say a few things to help make it easier for you to decide.
Marriage will only work if you’re both committed to it. A surprise proposal is great, but, they can be bad too. When you’re surprised with an engagement ring, you act rashly. You agree to marriage as you’re caught up in the surprise moment. Then, you’re excited about wedding planning, and you’re married. After a few months or year, you realize this wasn’t what you wanted. What you should do is talk about marriage with your partner. Figure out if you’re both on the same page or not. You may find that they don’t want to get married and breathe a sigh of relief as neither do you.
Never change who you are or who you want to be to get married. If you’re happy with your job, but you’re expected to become a housewife, don’t you dare do it. Only get married if you can remain the same person. Marriage expectation exists and can ruin a relationship. Ignore them, do your own thing.
If you want to get married, get married. If you don’t, don’t. The bottom line is, you have a brain and can think for yourself. Do whatever you want to do, and whatever will help improve your relationship.