The Marriage Truths Everyone Needs To Know
Are you about to take the dive into wedded bliss? Before you do there are things you need to know first. Often when I talk to young, engaged people they are full of stars in their eyes. It’s a happy time and love is magical but it doesn’t take long for the reality to set in. I have been married twice so am I an expert? Eh maybe. I can tell you the first time around I was 23 and five months pregnant.
I was in love with the dream of it all. I was going to have everything little girls dream of. A man that would love me, a family, a house. I won’t lie in the beginning I had all of that and a big glass of totally naive. I had no idea to what to expect and neither did he. We were both unprepared and nowhere near mature enough to handle the realities of marriage.
Needless to say, we tortured each other and our kids for the next 13 years and though I don’t regret it I definitely see how things could have been way different and we could have saved a lot of pain for so many people involved.
The Job Of It
Being married is like a job, you have to work at it every day. I have said it once and I’ll say it again, there is no happily ever after. You have to constantly grow with each other, work on communication on a daily basis.
Slow Burning Embers
The hot fire doesn’t last. How many times have you heard one of the leading causes of cheating is excitement. That is because it doesn’t stay exciting, it just doesn’t. No relationship does. You can still excite each other but hopefully, the fire simmers to a slow burn because that’s what real love is really all about. You have to work at romance and trying new things to keep things spicy. Contentment can be a beautiful thing.
Answering To Another
So often couples really believe nothing is going to change when they get married. This may be the most important of the marriage truths, everything changes! It is the ultimate commitment and the agreement to be one. This means you do answer to someone. Everything you do is no longer about you alone which makes every decision important.
How Long Is Forever Exactly?
You must really take the time to reflect on your relationship before taking this step. In this age of divorce being easy to attain I wonder if we really approach marriage with the thought of forever. Make sure this is not just, love right now. You will be spending every day with this person so isn’t it wise to really think about how much you know them and like them? Loving and liking are really not the same thing.
If you really think this is the only person you’re ever going to be attracted to you are crazy! That may get me a few angry comments but it is true. The temptation is everywhere and you have to expect for you and your partner to be tempted. That doesn’t mean you will do anything wrong and setting boundaries to avoid such situations is a good idea. Discuss it with your partner and always be honest about your needs.
Do you love this person enough to sacrifice for them? I have sacrificed for my marriage and most people do. Marriage is an investment and therefore there are times you will have to let things go for the sake and health of your relationship. The downside can be if you’re not truly invested the sacrifice can lead to resentment.
They Would Never Hurt Me!
The biggest lie we tell ourselves. It is totally true that we always hurt the ones we love. You will hurt each other over and over. There can be no joy without pain. We try our bests not to do it but it happens and people mess up. Never lie to yourself in thinking your partner is perfect because no human is. The other side of that coin is no one else will bring such joy into your life.
No one Can Be Fixed By Love
One of the biggest marriage truths, people, especially women, are guilty of is becoming obsessed by our own ideals. Marriage and or love will not fix anyone. If there are issues when your dating, trust me putting a ring on it will only compound it. We can only change ourselves and just because we love something doesn’t mean we have to have it.