dating coworkers

The Pros And Cons Of Dating A Co-Worker

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Is Dating A Co-Worker A Good Idea

 

We spend an enormous amount of time working. It makes sense that dating would enter the picture at times. Who hasn’t flirted with a co-worker or even had a relationship? Especially if you are spending more time at work than at home, but is it a good idea?

 

 

How Employers Feel About Co-Workers Dating

Many businesses and employers have policies against dating a co-worker. Primarily to avoid Liability. There are real concerns such as  favoritism, discrimination, and harassment. Break-ups often lead people to want to hurt the other person if they have been hurt. This creates chaos in the workplace. There are other issues as well, say one of the couple gets fired or quits the employer has to worry whether they will lose two employees.

 

Pros

There are positives in this scenario. You always have a ride to work! It gives you more in common and you get to spend more time together. It can be hard when others don’t understand your feelings about your work when you have to explain everything. Since we spend so much time working it makes having a personal life difficult at times especially with specific industries like IT, Hospitality, HealthCare. It can be nice to see your partner more on a daily basis. Statistics have shown 30% of office romances lead to Marriage.

 

Cons

I am sorry to say I see more cons than pros especially in the early stages of a relationship where there isn’t security. You may start paying more attention to what your partner is doing, who they are talking to, which is a huge distraction when you usually need focus. It is difficult to keep your work life and your personal life separate. It can make things come into question like your credibility and favoritism can play a large role.

All couples need to have a singular identity that is separate from their partner. Something that is theirs alone. The big thing is space, though, you need space from each other. At times if there is no line between work and love you will tend to not know which is which. That sounds crazy your saying, but it’s like never leaving work. The worst thing you can do is bring your work home with you, it causes  anxiety.

Jealousy And Resentment

Situations can arise that promote Jealousy and Resentment. If one is doing better than the other such as promotions to which the other partner can have feelings or Inadequacy and resentment when they haven’t had similar success or feel that it may be unfair.

Loyalty

Loyalty can come into question. One of you gets fired, do you have to leave out of Loyalty? This can particularly become an issue if it was unjust or your partner feels as if it was unjust and may poison your relationship if you show your job loyalty your partner may feel you should be showing to them.

 

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It can make your co-workers uncomfortable. This is especially true if one partner is in a position of authority. They will never feel free to speak, therefore they will avoid you and question your credibility in your work. Gossip is always a problem. Do you want to know what your partner is doing every minute of the day?

 

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Establish Ground Rules!

So if you are willing to risk it, you absolutely set ground rules for dating a co-worker right from the start. Your co-worker and your lover are two different entities. Setting boundaries if you are going to mix the two worlds is essential. Keep distance while you are working. Agree on how much time you talk about work when you are not there. Have a  plan should things not work out.

 

 

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Going Into Business With Your Spouse

Many married couples start businesses together. This actually can work but there are things to keep in mind. Marriage is a partnership just as the business can be. You have to decide ahead of time what your roles are with the understanding that it is 50/50. Know what areas of the business each is responsible for.

You can’t share all of the responsibilities equally. Just like running a family, each partner tends to have separate tasks they are in charge of. Have weekly meetings to discuss issues. Have it in writing! This should be the most important part of your business plan.

The pro’s of being in business with your partner is trust. It is so difficult starting a business especially if you don’t trust all the key players. Your partner has a huge stake in your success and vice versa.

 

co-worker

Dating Co-workers or even being married to one can have many challenges and you have to carefully weigh each one to decide if it is worth it and deal with the issues that may come up. Establishing boundaries and rules are necessary and should be well thought out. I hope these tips help! Have you ever dated a co-worker? Share your story.

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15 Comments Write a comment

Writer And Coffee Addict Living The Blog Life

15 Comments

  • Jeremeiah October 25, 2016

    My boyfriend and I have talked about starting a business together in the future if we get married. You brought up some very interesting comments. I will probably be sharing this with him tonight.

    • Heidi October 25, 2016

      Thanks, yes it actually can be a great thing as long as things are planned realistically

  • GiGi Eats October 25, 2016

    I honestly think that every situation is different, but I am not sure I would want to have a romantic relationship with someone I work with. Then work and pleasure would never be separated and I honestly believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder … So if you each work different jobs and come home to see each other at night – you are more excited because you missed her/him during the day!

    • Heidi October 25, 2016

      I agree. Thanks for reading

  • Liv October 26, 2016

    My husband and I worked together before we started dating. Best decision I ever made.

    • Heidi October 26, 2016

      It works for some people. Thanks for reading

  • Aish Das-Padihari October 26, 2016

    I think everything is good until things break apart. I have had friends who dated/flirted with their co-workers and it never ended up well. Sometimes it may work out and sometimes it may not. Not only that, it does create an uncomfortable environment for the common friends. Great post.

    • Heidi October 26, 2016

      I am not really for it. I just think you have to separate your personal and professional life. That being said I have worked with my husband but we worked in different areas.

  • Skipah October 26, 2016

    Let’s see my ex wife left me for a co-worker he’s on his fifth marriage now so I’m sure my ex is THE ONE. At my employer it is frowned on heavily if it is two people that would have to work together. Since we are a rather large company if the two people don’t have anything to do with each others field of expertise then they turn a blind eye usually.

    • Heidi October 26, 2016

      I started laughing before I even started reading cause I had a feeling lol. (umm she will reap her rewards they always do my friend).

  • Divya @ Eat Teach Blog October 26, 2016

    YES! This is tough to do as a teacher. Kids pick up on things way more than we think they do!

    • Heidi October 26, 2016

      they are way too smart lol

  • Elizabeth Doren October 26, 2016

    My employer doesn’t allow it. I think my issue would be not knowing what to talk about in down time? Like you know what happened during my day because you were there?

    • Heidi October 26, 2016

      That is exactly true, that and it takes over your whole life

  • How To Find A Date In 2016 | Womanpulse October 27, 2016

    […] The Pros And Cons Of Dating A Co-Worker […]

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