Relationship Issues To Consider Before You Get Engaged
It might seem that the biggest engagement problem that you’re likely to face is being stuck waiting for a proposal. If you have never been engaged, it must seem like the proposal is the end of the story, the moment in which the troubles end and the good life begins.Truth is there are relationship issues that will come up.
Unfortunately, for many couples, engagement can indeed be the end of the story – and the start of an altogether more troubling one. Relationships have problems, and the man on one knee proffering a canary yellow diamond ring is not a ticket to the happily ever after those fairytales so like to promise. Engagement can be a testing time for a relationship, which hardly seems fair when it feels like you’re just beginning.
So why does it happen? Shouldn’t the engagement be the happiest time of all, as you contemplate your lives together? To an extent, there’s some truth in that: engagement can indeed be a very happy, romantic time. But it’s not without its problems. So if you have ever or indeed are suffering through such issues, then be assured that not only are you not alone, but these issues are more common than people would like to admit…
It’s Forever Now
No one goes into a marriage thinking that it might fail. The idea of committing yourself to another person for life is an attractive one; that’s why so many people do it, of course. However, the confirmation of this can be difficult as you both realize that you have to take the bad stuff too.
So now, when he chews with his mouth open or you obsess about how straight a picture is, you can look at one another and think: “this is how it’s going to be for the rest of my life”. And that’s not necessarily a comforting thing.
It’s said that we’re meant to love someone because of their flaws, but that’s utterly ridiculous – our partner is perfectly capable of doing something that drives us to distraction. The idea that they’re going to continue doing that for the next 50 years can take some getting used to. This can make you more irritable than you usually would be with one another.
The Wedding Planning
There are very few couples who manage to negotiate the difficult waters of planning a wedding without the occasional threat of a storm. You might argue about guest lists, the size of the wedding, the people who will be invited, or exactly what might go on on the stag night – it’s all fair game.
It’s somewhat inevitable that given the stress of a wedding, eventually, you take this out on one another. It might not even feel like that’s what you’re fighting about; the argument doesn’t have to be directly about the wedding to be being caused by the stress of planning one. Unless you are fighting about the big things – such as your life goals, whether or not you want to have kids – then it’s safe to put these things down to wedding stresses. You don’t suddenly hate one another; you just have a lot to deal with!
So while we all dream of getting married and engaged, there are relationship issues we have to deal with first.