Relationship Tips: How To Exhale And Just Let It Gorelationships
Letting It Go: A Life Lesson
Recently in my own life I have embraced the lesson on “letting it go”. Wha I mean by that is there are things we hold onto that are stifling us. Not too long ago I shared the gift of releasing Toxic Relationships from your life. How often, though have we let people go from our lives out of anger? Ego?
Toxic Relationships those which harm and bring negativity to our lives and what I have come to realize is just because you let those people go doesn’t exactly wash away the negativity, the festering resentments, the sadness.
About 8 years ago my Mother and I stopped talking. The whys are complicated because Mental Illness is complicated. It just became so hard to have her in my life day to day. I won’t say that I was wrong or she was wrong, it doesn’t matter now. She is living her last days and it brought not only the two of us back together but the whole family.
I feel sadness don’t get me wrong but I also feel happy, it’s hard to explain what happened other than the deepest “exhaled breath” I ever had. Why? Because I was holding onto things that just didn’t matter. My mother didn’t hurt me physically or do something irreparable. What ultimately happened, is we let words take away the most important relationship you have in this life. She is my first connection to the world.
Holding Onto Too Much Drains Your Energy
You have to ask yourself the question, Are you holding onto too much? Ask yourself if you have let people go from your life because of a singular event that made you angry. Do you still feel angry? See letting people go who bring negativity to your life doesn’t automatically evaporate what we are holding. We have to face head on those feelings and deal with them.
What Is The Value?
Another question you should ask yourself is does this person hold value in your life? At times we let singular events and harsh words color everything that has gone before and that’s our ego talking. Our inner need to punish because we are hurt.
Letting It Go
Resentment if left unattended will damage us on the inside and how often do we keep a running tab of things we feel wronged about. Even with spouses and our children, we hold onto those little things that we could just let go of. There is a deeper wisdom to picking your battles for the sake of inner peace.
What It All Means
Because he didn’t take out the trash doesn’t mean it’s about you. We take too much personally and sweat every little thing. When we are in a relationship, we tend to think everything is about the relationship. Sometimes it’s just trash. Nothing will happen if it doesn’t get taken out. You don’t always need an apology for things. People hurt each other.
The How Of It
Releasing this demon means you have to get it out. Get it out once to the person or even write it down so you face the negativity head on. Not doing so creates emotional baggage we carry around which spills into the rest of our relationships.
Take A Break
As much as I might mourn the lost time my mother and I have it was necessary for both of us. Sometimes instead of totally walking away a break could help. Time is the greatest healer, is it not? Even admitting though you love this person, you can’t have them full time in your life.
I am a big believer in boundaries and honesty. Letting someone know what your triggers and boundaries are can make a big difference. What causes the disagreements and harsh words? Maybe there are lines on both sides that just shouldn’t be crossed. It is totally ok to say to someone I can’t talk about this or that with you because we just don’t meet in the middle on it.
Check out this amazing article on forgiveness –> click here It’s important to deal with the residual anger and resentment you might feel. There is a cleansing power to letting go unlike any I have come across. I truly believe it lightens the soul even greater than forgiveness.