Are You Ready For A Committed Relationship?
This is a question we ask ourselves over and over in our brain, isn’t it?
Let me start by saying I have had a bad marriage and a good one so after my divorce, I had time to reflect on this very question. Many have remarked on how great a couple my husband and I are. It usually gets a perplexed grin from me because I think, but you don’t have to live with him.
A joke, we do have a very good relationship and I didn’t luck into it. Granted, it wasn’t a calculated plot, I was pleasantly surprised when we got together. But I will tell you that I took steps to ensure my next relationship was the right one and here’s how.
ARE YOU READY
This is the first thing you must ask yourself. They say men are the ones who run from commitment, I disagree, I believe we all run from it and perhaps we don’t even see how we do it. We sabotage, create problems without realizing we are just not ready.
There is nothing wrong with this so ask yourself the question. Get out there and date because without kissing frogs you can not be ready to kiss the prince. Another thing we do is not properly deal with the luggage we are carrying. Often we ruin a good thing by bringing every jerk who did us wrong into every relationship, don’t do it. Take the time to deal with the baggage.
If you read my posts you know I’m all about the lists! There is nothing in life you can’t make a list for. relationship included. Make two lists. One, for what you don’t want and one for what you do want. List the qualities you think your mate would have. Be reasonable.
Don’t make requirements that are unrealistic and unattainable. It’s great to have standards but often women, in particular, can set theirs way too high which makes any human male pull away. In addition to those lists, add a list of questions. I first saw and read this on Steve Harvey ( by the way, read his book Think Like A Man Act Like A Lady, it’s brilliant) He says you will waste less time this way, I agree.
So you’ve done all this and you’re ready to put yourself out there and into a serious relationship. Be open. The person you end up falling for is usually not who we saw in our mind. I love that about my husband actually. I didn’t really see him coming and if you look at the two of us you probably wouldn’t think we would be a good couple, have a lot in common.
We have tons in common and a ton of differences. Keep in mind you want someone who balances and compliments you. He is social, outgoing and ambitious. I am an Introvert and not ambitious at all. The man you choose or woman should share your core values that are what’s really important.
DO NOT SETTLE
We tend to be in such a hurry for everything. We want everything right now. This is the recipe for disaster, we are tired of waiting for a relationship. How many people do you know in such a rush to get married? You watch your friends, your family settling down and popping out babies and you get impatient.
You’re with someone you know in your gut isn’t the right one but what if this is your only chance? Let me tell you it’s not. You’ve heard the saying it’s better to be happy alone than miserable with someone else. You have to think about down the line. Don’t settle for less, hold out for right.
BE THE RIGHT ONE
Lastly and perhaps most important is Be the right one. You can’t expect someone to commit to you if you don’t have it together. Now that doesn’t mean you have to have it all figured out but before there is us there’s you.
I hope this helped be sure to check out True Love