Dating can feel at times like a war we can’t win. Jerry Seinfeld said ” Dating is pressure and tension. What is dating but a job interview that lasts all night.” I never really liked dating and I believe it was because I did it wrong.
Yes, the constant uncertainty in dating makes discovering a new person or having a good time so awkward. We make so many mistakes in the beginning and why I felt I could lend some dating advice to make it easier. Here are some of the mistakes I believe women make and need to stop.
Expectations (Dating Advice 1)
From the moment we start dating someone, we are sizing up if they are mate material. Stop! Every date you have is not going to be the one. Sometimes it is just going to be dating or someone to have fun with.
Lying (Dating Advice 2)
This is something we all do. We exaggerate the truth or outright lie about ourselves. We do it to make ourselves more interesting or exciting. The truth is, though, they aren’t getting to know you. Don’t fill someone with false information that sets up a foundation that isn’t true.
Past Relationships (Dating Advice 3)
While dating there is a natural tendency to talk about exes. I think we want to make sure this new person won’t hurt you like a past lover. There are no guarantees. It is maybe the biggest turn-off to a man. He wants to know you are present in this moment and not the past.
Sex Too Soon (Dating Advice 4)
You meet someone and the hormones are raging. I get it, I’ve been there. The problem is we all know sex clouds your vision and your good sense sometimes. Women tie emotions to sex more often than men.
If the sex is good, you might be more likely to think it’s love when it isn’t. You want to make a real connection and sex tends to complicate things. What feels good isn’t always good for you.
Being Clingy (Dating Advice 5)
In the beginning of dating someone ,we tend to want to be with the person all the time but that can come off as too needy. It’s nice to feel needed but there are limits. Men like dating women who have their own stuff going on. That is the best dating advice I have gotten from men themselves.
You don’t want to be at anyone’s beck and call. If you do, they start to expect it. It isn’t realistic to make someone else your whole world.
TMI (Dating Advice 6)
The fun part of dating is discovery. Don’t tell people everything about you right away. Besides the fact that a little mystery is sexy, Trust is built over time. You have to know you are safe with someone before giving away everything.
Life Goals (Dating Advice 7)
Of course, you want to know if someone has the same values. Knowing they have a vision for their life can be important to know if you’re on the same wavelength. But and this is a big one, in the beginning, it is wise to keep some goals to yourself.
Marriage and kids namely. Men tend to be wary even though this may not be a today goal it is a red flag to men. Men tend to be more shy about commitment and throwing that out there is a big mistake.
Me Me Me (Dating Advice 8)
This is especially true for first dates. The conversation can be awkward and we want to fill in those silences with something, so we talk about ourselves. Too much about you can make you appear self-absorbed and disinterested in him. Ask questions.
Don’t Settle (My Dating Advice 9)
We all want someone to love and companionship. Learning how to be alone, however, is a gift. Don’t be so desperate for a relationship that you settle for less than you deserve and want. It can have disastrous effects on future relationships. You may miss the person you really want.
Eye Candy (My Dating Advice 10)
When you are looking for someone you may have a list of requirements and standards. Be reasonable, the one usually doesn’t end up being who you think. There is a great quote that goes, “Don’t Look For A Partner That Is Eye Candy, Look For A Partner That Is Soul Food.
You should always have standards but make sure they are reasonable and real world qualities.
I hope my dating advice helps you in your dating journey. We all make mistakes but be who you are. Pay attention and listen. Most of all have fun, don’t make dating a job.
Share your dating stories, I’d love to hear about it.