Have You Heard Of Stealthing?
Dating is scarier than ever! It seems so many bad ideas have sprung on an activity that should be fun. It’s fun to meet new people and there is nothing more exciting than the newness in a relationship but today you have to constantly worry about whether your being manipulated in some way. Keep in mind these aren’t new ideas even though the names are new but it wasn’t so commonplace once upon a time
I really thought ghosting was bad enough when I wrote about dating trends not so long ago and just in case your not aware, ghosting takes place when you’re in a relationship and one person just exits. They stop calling without any warning and just remove themselves from your life. In effect, they have broken up with you and not bothered to tell you. I personally see this as the cowardly move it is but just wait it gets worse.
Wait, let me take a deep breath first. Stealthing is when a man takes off the condom either right before sex or during. I know you’re saying to yourself “What?” I did too the first time I heard about it. Yes yes sex does feel better without a condom there is no denying that but duh what about the reasons for wearing one. This would be bad enough if it was isolated, you know just a few bad weenies but the truth is there have been groups of men encouraging this online, I even saw a website that had a how to guide.
My initial thought was how stupid can they be? Why stupid? Leaving yourself open to pregnancy and disease of course and apparently, the ones who engage in this have said they don’t care. I wanna state up front I have spoken about this to men I know and they are also disgusted.
The debate over this issue has been boiling over as many see stealthing as sexual assault. Some men have fought back saying that it isn’t because the female consented to sex, yes that made me roll my eyes too. Never fear though there are already a few states moving forward with legislation that will make it so.
What Can You Do?
There is no surefire way to protect yourself honestly. I would say knowing who you’re sleeping with is a definite plus but even that’s not a guarantee. I will say this I do understand getting lost in the moment but you can undeniably feel the difference between a man wearing a condom and going bareback. If you even suspect it’s happening to you push him out!
Ah yes, let’s move on to bad idea number two. “Cushioning” Have you heard of it? This is definitely not a new idea but back in my day it was stringing people along, According to my sources this is more commonly carried out by women than men and made even more popular in the age of dating apps. Cushioning happens because well just in case it doesn’t work out. Yes, it’s exactly like your thinking. Your dating this woman and it’s going good but the truth is she’s got a few waiting in the wings just in case it bottoms out.
From the way, I hear it plays out by just keeping a few interested enough so there’s a fallback plan. Which really sucks if your second or even fifth choice.
Lawd, yes I’m starting out with a shake of the head. Picture this, you are out a club with your friends and a guy comes up and starts talking and you assume he’s into you and your liking it and then he says something like “Wow, your eyes are stunning, are they contacts? Yeah so your not really sure whether you just got insulted or not.
Let me clue you in, you did and this is Negging! This is a technique that has been widely used to pick up women. It is taught at websites who shall remain nameless because I refuse to give them any credit, but men are being taught to disrespect women to get sex. Apparently, it’s working. The technique typically takes place in a group setting that targets the hottest girl and the goal is lower her perceived social value with her friends.
These teachers believe that pretty or hot woman believe that their power is their looks and by taking them down a little the woman’s ego will make her work harder to land the man. Really? Well it must work, I saw one website that has over 10k members. We all saw Hitch right? Same premise.
In closing, I have to say not all men or women are engaging in these trends but it’s always good to know what to look out for. If you’ve been a victim of stealthing I would definitely take steps and always protect yourself as much as you can. Has any of these dating trends happened to you?