How To Help Your Kids Through Divorce
Any divorce is painful, but it is even worse when there are children involved. When I was going through my divorce that was my biggest concern, how could I make the transition easier for my kids? Separation is not easy for the parents, but it is also incredibly difficult for the kids too. While parents sometimes split amicably, children are never happy about the situation. Family life as they know it will never be the same again. Knowing how to help your children during this time can be difficult, but there are strategies you can use. Read on to find out more.
Give your children extra attention
It is important to be aware that children can often act up during this time. It is not uncommon for kids to refuse to listen to you, wet their bed, or withdraw. They are going to need open communication, support, and extra time during this period, which can be challenging, as you have so many other things going on. As time passes and they adapt to the changes, these symptoms will dissipate. Why not plan some of their favorite activities with the family to take their mind off things and let them know that life will go on as usual?
See a mediator
It is also good to see a mediation expert during this period, especially if there are things you cannot agree on between the both of you, which let’s face it is usually the case during a divorce. By seeing a mediator, you can discuss all issues and disagreements in a controlled environment, which can reduce the chances of you needing to go to court. Dragging the divorce out will only cause more distress for your children.
Involve your kids in the move
Aside from this, it is a good idea to give your children plenty of notice before a parent moves out. Involving the child in the move can be beneficial and warm them to the idea of splitting their time between two places. Allow them to help you with furnishing the property, and show them where they will be sleeping when they visit so that they feel more comfortable.
Avoid talking badly about your ex-partner
No matter how heated things have gotten between you and your ex-partner, you need to avoid talking badly about them in front of your children. Children need both of their parents, and they can feel bad or experience a loyalty conflict if their parents are constantly bad mouthing one and other or feeling angry towards each other.
Make sure your children know they are not to blame
In fact, it is important to make your children aware that the divorce is not their fault. Kids tend to believe that their thoughts or behavior have caused bad events, which can lead to them putting the blame on themselves. You need to make your kids aware that the separation has nothing to do with them, and it is a decision that you and their mother/father have made together based on their relationship.
All in all, a divorce is a difficult time for everyone involved. Follow the tips mentioned above to make it easier for your children.