Parenting Tips And Mom Wisdom From An Old Pro
There is a special kind of wisdom that comes from being a mom. The greatest joy in my life was being a mother and I know you’re saying “you’re a mom?” Yes, indeed I am a mom of three grown children aged 26, 24, and 18. There is no other feeling on earth that comes close to it. That being said you are never prepared for motherhood. It is an awesome responsibility and a learning experience that no book or video can possibly explain. I thought I would take this opportunity to share my personal wisdom and parenting tips for all the mom’s out there!
I remember the first time I was pregnant, I read the books, ate all the right things, took the breathing classes. It is really exciting and we want to do everything right. Let me say this PREGNANCY SUCKS. There I said it. The body you once knew is no longer yours and some really strange things happen ao I am not going to list all of the things you should do but I will say this. Sleep as much as you can and stay away from salt.
Don’t take everyone’s advice! The best book out there is “What to expect when you’re expecting”. It was good twenty years ago and it still is today. Everyone you know is going to want to impart advice.I remember being at work and these two women stopped me and just said simply, “take the drugs”. Some advice you might actually use but take it with a grain of salt.
Now I don’t wanna piss off the Lamazers out there but I found the breathing totally useless during labor and the more my husband told me to breathe the more pissed off I got.
The one piece of wisdom I usually offer is this: It freakin hurts! Don’t think it won’t and even for five minutes, it is going to be the worst pain you ever feel. There is nothing natural about childbirth but in the end, you get this precious human being who steals your heart.
Where Is That Handbook Again?
Parenting is learned as you go and anyone who tells you different is lying! The truth is there isn’t a surefire formula for being the right parent. We all find our own way and that only makes sense because we are all unique beings. I know personally, I was never the Volunteer Mom, I was the mom yelling at every event and in all things, I am little weird. But of course I have a few parenting tips the books don’t tell you.
I once asked my kids if they wished I was more like other moms and their answer, of course, melted my heart. They said you are our mom. That is really the bottom line and since none of my kids are serial killers here are some parenting tips I learned that might help you.
Teach Them Kindness
Maybe you think if you are a loving parent and give your children the experience of being raised in a loving environment that itself teaches them compassion. It doesn’t! You have to directly teach them how to treat people with kindness and compassion.
There are so many pressures out there to fit in and in my opinion, one thing I find lacking is that many aren’t taught to care for and protect those who are weaker. You really want to teach them to take care of others early on. Bullies aren’t born that way.
Let Them Be Kids
I really learned this the hard way but please please keep your children out of adult situations. Whether it’s a fight or just a discussion children are not mentally equipped to handle adult things. We do a disservice to them as parents when we don’t pay attention to what they are hearing. No child deserves that weight on their shoulders and it will affect them more than you know.
My children were present for many of the battles between my ex-husband and I. Nothing hurt so much as seeing how it changed them. They became quiet and distrusting of adults.
Failure And Other Mistakes
There is this misconception that as parents we need to be somewhat perfect for our kids to be ok. The truth is life is not perfect, people are not perfect and we fail miserably at times. Let them see you fail. It is part of being human and it will happen to them. The important lesson is how you show dealing with making mistakes.
Too many children feel like they have to be perfect and a big reason is they don’t want to disappoint their parents. That itself is a failure. Everyone makes mistakes. The greater lesson is getting back up and keeping on, keeping on.
Keep That Door Open
The only time I have lied to my kids is when I told them fish was chicken and they really only fell for that once. I have never lied to my kids. It is important that they know the value of truth. One thing I know I did right, I bestowed a feeling of openness between us.
They should always feel as if they can come to you. My kids still do that sometimes too much but that’s another lesson. Of course, this also means there will be times we have to check our judgment at the door. Creating a safe zone where they feel ok with sharing is what we should all strive for.
You Can’t Fix Everything
When they fall we kiss their boo-boo and everything is magically happy again. As parents, it is hard to lose that tendency to make everything all right. From the minute children come into our lives we are preparing them for the world.
At some point, we just can’t fix everything. The world is a hard place and it’s our job to teach them how to fix things themselves so resist the urge. The greatest gift we can give is to guide them into finding their own solutions.
So there’s the mom wisdom you’ve missed your whole life! Enjoy your children because we only have them all to ourselves a short time.