July 22, 2017
How many times have you heard, “Why do I only attract the jerks?” It’s not uncommon that often we attract the wrong partners and don’t achieve relationship success, we assume then all men or women must suck.
The truth doesn’t lie in them and I know you don’t want to hear this but it lies in you. So does it mean there is something so wrong with you that you can’t find a great guy? No, the very guy you’re complaining about might very well be a great guy for someone else. There are reasons this happens and it isn’t complicated and it’s easy to fix:
I recently read something that made perfect sense I couldn’t believe it didn’t occur to me. You attract what you are. Think about that for a moment and the partners you have had. If you attract the noncommittal type more than likely it is because you are not ready for a commitment.
All this made sense to me on a deep level. I didn’t always know my type but it has always been the same in different ways. I am attracted and always have been to the Alpha Male. I like a strong minded guy. When I was younger it was all too easy to confuse Alpha with abusive and down the rabbit hole, I went. This was because I didn’t know my own mind.
I realized later that I am an Alpha female which has made my relationships difficult, to say the least. Now when I say Alpha that doesn’t mean the CEO of a fortune 500 company. What it means to me is a strong-minded man because I am a strong-minded, stubborn, bossy woman. Hey, I’m being honest. it is about balance
There are a few things you need to do to attract the partners you want for relationship success:
Know Who You Are
I didn’t know who I was for a long time. Accepting who you are is important to your own happiness and your relationship success. Changing who you are to suit someone else will never work. The truth comes out and so does the resentment.
It is true that what you put out to the universe, you get back sometimes tenfold. You need to face the reflection looking back at you. Identify the true self that’s looking back at you. It isn’t easy and sometimes you won’t like what you see, but it is much easier to live with your personal truth.
Relationship Success Is Not About Who You Think You Should Be With
We all settle for relationships at some point in our life that others expect of us. I did this myself many times. I couldn’t accept my personal truth. I had relationships I thought would be more acceptable. We worry so much about what we SHOULD do that we never manifest our true destinies.
We do this with so many areas of our lives, don’t we? Think about the courses in college or the sensible job you take instead of what you want to do. Being happy sometimes means being uncomfortable and taking risks.
Figure Out What You Want
If you don’t know what you want or expect from a relationship how is your partner supposed to? We approach dating someone thinking that we like the person and want to have fun. That is not what I’m referring to, I am speaking on a relationship. Take the time to define what it is exactly you want and expect from a relationship. Write it down if you have to. Be up front about it.
Don’t want a relationship so bad that you settle. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you can only fix you. Us women, in particular, tend to believe if we love someone enough they will change or that we can fix them, well we can’t. You can only do as much as you can and if that isn’t enough it’s best to know when to make a clean break. As the saying goes, being alone is better than being miserable with someone else.
Do Opposites Attract?
Of course, they do! In all reality we are all opposites, there are no two people on this earth who are the same and thank god for that. Common sense tells you that you don’t want someone exactly like you, why? Balance, balance, balance. For me, I am one of those dreamy kinds of people who can tend to get lost in their head so I need a stabilizing force. Knowing yourself is definitely key. Knowing what you need is essential.
So Finally, To know why you are attracting the wrong partner and not having relationship success you must look inside for the answers. In other words, be the love you want in your life!