August 22, 2016
I like to throw in an opinion piece here and there for your immense enjoyment or mine. So I was perusing the web last night, as I like to see what people are writing and reading. I stumbled across an article in one of the women’s magazines that were so entertaining. This writer uploaded a Tinder profile of her less than perfect belly to see what kind of response she would get. She did this after speaking to a teenager who thought her imperfect body would not earn her attention from men.
Needless to say, she received over 100 matches which to me brought up a very good issue on What Is Sexy.
We, women, beat ourselves up over our bodies. You are not alone, I do this too. I am 48, heavier than I want to be and realistically I know perhaps it’s all in my head. It can be depressing because the looks stop shooting your way, you have wrinkles and your body changes. So I went out in search of the truth. Media creates a picture of what being sexy is. That and our own insecurities. After forty, I really did feel that way until I started just telling myself every day that I was.
So I asked random men and women this question, which was like drawing blood I have to say. People are so concerned (especially men) with the right answer. The men who did answer said that of course,they are going to look at a great body but that is to them just a visual and it doesn’t necessarily mean they are sexually attracted.
The leading response I got was this, Women who think they are sexy, are sexy. I’m sure we have all seen the woman who walks into a room with an air that says I OWN IT. I read something once where a woman said she walks into a room thinking all the men and women want to sleep with her.
When I asked women what they thought men found sexy, a lot of the answers were looks based. Big boobs, a great behind, skinny, long hair. It drove home the communication gap and how we have been conditioned in our thinking.
I’m going, to be honest ladies. Men like boobs period! It doesn’t matter if they are big or small. We all have concerns in our relationships with our bodies not being what we were when they met us. So often ,because of this ,we don’t want to be naked. Truth is, they aren’t staring at the extra pounds or the sagging. They are happy with you being naked. You may laugh but it really is that simple.
What you take away from this is: Confidence is sexy! I am sexy because I think I am. I realized one day if I don’t own my sensuality, nobody will.
Everyone has attributes that they are attracted to, I am no different but sexy is sexy. It’s a feeling, not a body part. Tell yourself every day. Do things that make you feel sexy. Don’t depend on someone Else’s validation.
What do you find sexy?